An Ode to Oktoberfest (Free Verse)

Oktoberfest

You, Oktoberfest, are without compare,

Overpriced everything, and especially the beer.

Drunken Debauchery, in December we do detox,

Fill up on roast pork, dumplings, or a slice from an ox.

Fill up my glass, sir, ten euros is very dear.

.

With girls scantily clad, call it tradition I might add,

After a liter or two, the lager ain’t half bad.

Up on the benches, the floor is not far,

Wooden floors cushion blows, they aren’t really that hard.

Teenies step aside now, and be a good lad.

.

The lights go up, and the place is a mess,

If I could only find a way to get her out of that dress.

Not this time, sorry, your lederhosen are too poor,

Big security guards, not German, forcibly showing you the door.

Pour yourself into a taxi, ask thy ‘what’s my address?’

Twas the Global Warmed Weekend Before Christmas

Christmas the way it used to be in Munich. Photo: Laptops and Lederhosen

Christmas the way it used to be in Munich. Photo: Laptops and Lederhosen

Twas the last weekend before Christmas

And all through the town

It felt almost tropical

There was no ice around.

 

Not a snowflake had fallen

Only rain fell in sheets

Like any spring evening

There were puddles on the streets.

 

No mulled wine stand was crowded

Everyone preferred a cold beer

Short sleeves were in fashion

Although Christmas was near.

 

Wool hats and wool stockings

Hung unsold and forlorn

Wasted coats from New Zealand’s finest

That had not needed to be shorn.

 

Green leaves still stuck to branches

The ice rink was a pool

There was no frost or snow

The weather was balmy, not at all cool.

 

Rather than roasting a fowl

We’re thinking of eating lighter fare

Something much more summer-like

Like a steak cooked medium rare

 

But winter is surely coming

Yes it’ll come soon we know

Sometime around Easter

We’ll have our first and last snow.

 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Is this even possible anymore around Christmas? Photo: Laptops and Lederhosen

Is this even possible anymore around Christmas? Photo: Laptops and Lederhosen