Germans Are Bad Actors

Germany would have you believe that Greece is nothing but a tragedy. The people seem to understand that there must be certain sacrifices for the European Union to work. Photo: Wikipedia

Germany would have you believe that Greece is nothing but a tragedy. The people seem to understand that there must be certain sacrifices for the European Union to work. Photo: Wikipedia

The money is gone. It isn’t coming back. Most of the Germans I’ve spoken to on the streets or in the cafes of Munich have known this since, like, FOR-EVER! Was there ever really any doubt? Not really.

Hey Germans, your leaders have been lying to you! Or they are completely incompetent (as if they never saw this coming!)! Choose your poison! Haw haw! We in the Western World owe so much to Greece, so many wonderful ideas (a Greek word) about philosophy, ethics, theology, cosmos, and yes, chaos (ALL Greek words), plus a plethora of Greek words on both our languages, can’t you Germans just let it slide? It’s only a little bit of money, Germans have about five TRILLION euros in the bank. (Just keep your eye on Spain and (eventually) France!)

We Americans are so used to being spoken to like idiots (Greek word) it hardly ever even registers when our politicians (Greek) lie. Unless, of course, we think we’re being lied to by a half-black guy with a Muslim sounding name. Then we might take notice if the TV news program (Greek word) that we watch every evening tells us to take notice. But normally, not.

In the good old days, Americans elected the smartest guy in the room to be the leader. In 1980 (not the first time) we moved away from this method (Greek) for a spell, went back to it for a president, went dumb, and then corrected this again with our current president. Germans also elect the smartest guy in the room while many other European countries on the whole did not. But it looks like the Greeks have decided to try the smartest guy in the room approach, and Europe has a crisis (Greek). He’s got the European Union by the short hairs. And German politicians need an enema (another Greek word).

Germany and Greece are much closer than most people know. They always sit next to each other due to their alphabetical similarities. Photo: LaptopsandLederhosen

Germany and Greece are much closer than most people know. They always sit next to each other due to their alphabetical similarities. Photo: LaptopsandLederhosen

The guy the Greeks have elected appears as if he might actually do what he’d said he was going to do, which has politicians in Berlin, Paris, London, and other European capitals shaking in their boots. The Democrats (Greek) and Republicans (Latin) in America’s (very, very old German word) Congress, however, are not shaking in their boots any more than normal because they are never pressured into keeping promises. NO AMERICAN ever expects their elected representatives to do what they say they’re going to do.

So to the Germans I say ‘relax’, forget about it. Stop going to Turkey to stake out your lawn chair before breakfast, lay on the beach all afternoon and eat all you can. Go to Greece and throw your good money after the bad. It’s the best thing you could do. Stop acting as if you’re shocked at the turn of events. It’s really more of a Comedy than a Tragedy, so please, play your part.

The two-headed monsters (next to the FC Bayern flag!) is a symbol of Dikefale, which has teams in both Athens and Thessaloniki. Comedy and tragedy. Photo: LaptopsandLederhosen

The two-headed monsters (next to the FC Bayern flag!) is a symbol of Dikefale, which has teams in both Athens and Thessaloniki. Comedy and tragedy. Photo: LaptopsandLederhosen

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A German Doctor’s Orders

Anything goes in Germany (nearly) when it comes to sex! Photo: wikipedia

Anything goes in Germany (nearly) when it comes to sex! Photo: wikipedia

I read this joke a few years ago and with all the grey weather in Munich recently I thought now would be a good time to post it. I added the part about the Russians.

The French have sex because they like it.

The Brits have sex because they drink too much.

The Russians have sex because the winters are long.

The Germans have sex because it lowers their blood pressure.